"My birth experience"

My frustrating experience began when I first presented with a (spontaneous rupture of membranes (SROM) at 39 wks. I’m a very informed person around pregnancy and birth, the doctor was made aware of this, and yet from when the doctor first walked in to speak with me I was made to feel as though the life of my baby was at risk if I didn’t do everything the doctor wanted and when they wanted. The doctor did not once explain the steps of induction or the risks of this intervention to myself or my baby. It was all about pushing fear onto me. I left that afternoon physically shaking for hours with overwhelming emotions. Not the kind of state for labour to begin. I was horrified at our treatment!

The midwives throughout were all amazing, except one. It reminded me that a midwife can have a massive impact on the progress of a woman’s experience and birth. 

In my opinion, the next doctor I had assessed me earlier than they should have, and then said - oh no you’re only 3 cm. I felt like my voice, my body, was fading into the background of their care. It seemed it was nothing to do with me and my birth, but all about the flow of their days and fitting their schedules. I felt judged by them for my wishes and choices.

It took me months to process the full experience. These were just some moments of the day. It would play on my mind every day.

If I had a baby here again I would not relent in my wishes for me and my baby. I think there is a point where informing oversteps the mark and becomes bullying. I believe this is what I experienced.