"Treatment by paramedics and hospital staff"

I ask my adult child to please call 000, pain is worst in my life - like a hulk grabs me from within chest and won't stop. I can just breathe, not speak, not cry. I prompt my child with comments because of their Aspergers and ST JOHNS is on speaker and I help them with call. Paramedics come, the first comment by the paramedic was, in my opinion, unfriendly and ascorbic - open blinds, I cannot see, they said.

It was an overcast day, all lights in the lounge were on, in that week my child asks me, why did that paramedic be mad because the day has clouds and is gloomy? Our child cannot easily interpret emotions from non-verbal interaction, but I believe nailed that paramedics behaviour that day.

As I write this I cry. I felt the paramedic became annoyed at me for gentle rockish motion as I sit on lounge, grit teeth, try to cope with insurmountable pain and unable to be a statue for ECG. Why am I apologise for not be able to remain completely motionless for trace, I'm in the middle of M I.

Our child was sat behind me on a computer chair, rub my shoulder gently in a minor freak out, scared and talks nonstop, repeating any diagnosis about me to them, assuming it's helpful - not that our family applies focus to stuff like that, our child has overheard us chat about my diabetes and heart health before.

Three years ago, I honestly cannot compliment the two paramedics I encounter in my first M I - friendly, gentle, warm, compassionate, supportive and helpful, reassuring me in the ambulance, give me fentanyl up my nose to help with pain and it works. Maybe because our child repeats medically, any episodes for 24 months to them, combined with me ask for fentanyl to please stop the pain, I believe assumptions about me are formed like I'm a hypochondriac.

I sat in unbearable hellish pain and I don't care about anything but not scare my disabled child who is home alone with me, with their other parent hundreds of kilometres away. I ask for leads to be untangled as 2 of them be wrapped on my leg, the same paramedic says just ignore it and walk. I could not climb on to trolley in the driveway because of leads, and I ask for help to step out of them, paramedic listens to me as I'm unable to climb on the trolley.

I'm in the ambulance and nobody stops to allow me to say bye or to relay instructions like go inside and lock the door and wait for their other parent, to our child. Thankfully, the other paramedic relays this to our child on the lawn through the side door for me. I didn't be able to help them be safe, just demanded I walk out the front door, stop complaining about leads and given, I count 6 sprays of GTN spray by the same paramedic with no relief from pain. The first spray was on the couch, rest of them in the ambulance, despite me clearly communicating I have 2 prior myself with no relief, why I call 000.

The paramedic's demeanour and behaviour honestly felt bad, bad, bad, bad, not helpful, just annoyed at me and absolute dismissal - treats me like I'm seeking attention and fentanyl. I'm allergic to any painkillers, panadol is all I can tolerate.

I did ask paramedic can I go to a particular hospital because I have cardiologist with them who did stent three years ago, paramedic says they're not doing that, RPH. At RPH, I felt the same dismissal because ECG seemingly normal, a nurse asks me if I felt is a panic attack. Yep, I abandon my disabled child at home with nobody to help them be calm from first scare life out of them for nothing, a panic attack. I say about Melas to doctors, NSTEMI and how M I a few years ago not present normally, say jaw hurts, arms, hulk grip for 45 mins, say to paramedic I vomit twice, sweaty. 

Doctors transfer me to observation bit of ED, says nothing, just did another trace and troponin test. I'm deaf, cannot complain one bit about RPH treatment in ED acute care bit but on transfer, in my opinion, the nurse is from hell, shouts at me - answer me what number is the pain?

Hilariously, the nurse stands behind my head, and I rely on lip-reading, I did not hear them or see them speak to me. Maybe nurse thinks bad of me for ignoring them and stuff but shouts at me, reply, reply. I'm oblivious to them.

I cannot hear, I cry and discharge myself 15 minutes before planned discharge anyway because of bad, bad, bad encounter and how paramedic acted like I'm hypochondriac, fentanyl junkie and way nurse is at RPH shouts at me. I stop and shy away from medical help out of humiliation, hurt and dismissal for another 5 days before I go to a private hospital and get help for a massive MI, 5 days after I called 000.

Now I'm in CCF and maybe if I got help and a stent earlier, I'm met with the same outcome of heart health,same CCFbut if paramedic not be as bad to me, to begin with, and nurse did not treat me like that, I'm not reluctant to ask for help for 5 days.I don't seek attention, I live for our child.

I hope my life is not shorter because of their contempt and dismissal, in my opinion. I watch that show, Ambulance, on the telly and burst out in tears about how kind paramedics be, I cannot say if outcomes for me be same or not, just how bad it felt the way I was treated and is honestly life or death for me to call 000 or go to the hospital and not stay with our child.

I found brilliant help at a private hospital and 4 days in CCU and a big stent in the cath lab, cardiologist awesome, nurses awesome, doctors awesome. I wonder what a thousand dollar private hospital account worth for me if it creates nothing but the dismissal and hurt and stops me wanting to be near anybody medically for 5 days.

I felt humiliated, our child with Aspergers interprets paramedics mood and body language as mad, our child who has to literally hear feelings who is blunt to them.

I just want to forget, to wash it away but I am unable. It honestly felt bad and hurt emotionally. What I wish for a small bit of being kind from another human being that day.