"Poor Bedside Manner"

I took my parent to the Bridgetown hospital earlier this month in the evening. They were suffering from a blood nose and because they are on blood thinners, this created a lot of blood loss which was quite distressing for them. With a general fear of hospitals and not a great experience with a certain Dr in the past, we decided to attend the Bridgetown hospital. My parent was seen by a doctor. They did not introduce themselves to my parent or myself and before they entered the room, they requested, I wait out of the ED. I expressed my wishes to be by my clearly distressed parent's side, but the nurse insisted I leave as the Doctor wants the whole ED room. 

My parent explained to the doctor that they are neurodivergent (ADHD) and when they tried to explain their situation, the doctor continued to interrupt. They asked my parent for information and then proceeded to interrupt them, I believe their mannerism was condescending, and they continued to tell my parent to calm down each time they talked.

When I questioned why I was not able to be in the ED with my parent, the nurse advised that the doctor is a surgeon. The doctor advised my parent to go back to the first and see their original doctor if the bleeding started up again, my parent was clear about not wanting to see this doctor. The doctor insisted my parent go back to that hospital which made them feel as if they were not being listened to. When I did enter the ED, the doctor advised that they were going to provide my parent with a Lorazepam to calm them down because we both needed to calm down. The nurse continued to tell my parent to calm down and stop moving their head which became frustrating to my parent as they continued to express that they have ADHD and this was hard to do. The clinicians also kept questioning my parent's blood pressure and not listening when they expressed that this was their "normal". 

When the doctor came to replace the adrenaline-soaked gauze to stop the bleeding, I could hear my parent crying, and the doctor proceeding to tell them to stop crying because they're making it worse. The doctor also insisted that they needed to "pack" my parent's nose with more gauze. When my parent insisted the doctor had already done this, the doctor proceeded to remove the gauze only realising they had done this, causing more blood and distress. 

The nursing staff insisted I go home and leave my parent overnight to which I was not comfortable. My parent advised me that the doctor blocked both of their nostrils with tape and gauze, and my parent felt as if they were choking due to all of the blood. They advised that the nursing care was excellent after I had left, however I felt they could have been friendlier at the time of triage. 

I felt the doctor was very condescending to not only my parent but to myself. The whole experience felt very uncomfortable, and I felt I did not have a voice to advocate for my parent, especially by not being able to be by their side which made me feel irate and completely helpless. I did not feel comfortable enough to call Ashwarya's Care Call because I wasn't sure it was appropriate enough. I did encourage my parent to DAMA, and we go to another hospital which they replied, "let's just get this over with", and I sought advice from a CNM from a different hospital as I felt I was not being listened to.

We went back to the hospital two days later and received a completely different service. The Enrolled Nurse (Emma / Ellen?) was amazing. Friendly and as soon as my parent apologised as they had ADHD, the EN made a joke and instantly made us both feel comfortable. She was engaging and apologised for us feeling so uncomfortable. Dr Phillip was on the ward and came up, introduced himself and listened when my parent explained the whole scenario. He was gentle and friendly. 

I have worked for a health service for the past 6 years. I have seen the acceptable standard of service and feel extremely disappointed by the service we received at Bridgetown on the first presentation and grateful for the service received two days later, it made a huge difference. 

A smile, a friendly manner and active listening from staff can be enough to change an entire situation.