"Giving birth at the Hospital"

When we got to the hospital we gave the midwife our birth plan in writing where we specified amongst other things our preference around the Physiological 3rd stage and  the delivery of the placenta, we asked for minimal disturbance and a quiet stress free environment, we explained we were aware of the risks and benefits. And asked to allow the maximum time possible before any intervention if placenta remained undelivered - then ask and explain your reasoning calmly, do not demand.

The midwife read the plan and said it was not a problem and everything was good! We had asked what was the maximum amount of time allowed for the delivery of the placenta and they said 1 hour.

However when the time came an, in my opinion, very unpleasant quite arrogant clinician showed up, and without having been invited to the room they entered the space and, I felt, started to put pressure on us and tried to scare us with possible problems that may or may not occur if we didn’t cut the cord and intervene to deliver the placenta. 

This was quite stressful and I believe it didn’t help the delivery of the placenta we already had explained we were aware of the risks and we told them it was up to us to decide what to do, but I felt this clinician was annoyingly insisting even though the 1 hour limit was far from over. We respectfully asked the clinician to leave because that wasn’t the moment to have an argument, instead of leaving they started talking about the legality of what we were doing, and I happened to know a lot about that topic and was well aware that what they were suggesting was, as I understand it, inaccurate and untrue. 

In that moment we asked the clinician to leave in a more stern way and they left, we also asked the midwife to give us 10 minutes of privacy and they left.

Once alone we were able to find some peace and focus on what was important and the placenta was then delivered with ease. We strongly feel that the delay was partly caused by the imprudence of this, in my opinion, arrogant clinician.

And I feel that they stole from us what otherwise should have been a beautiful moment in our lives.

Sadly that’s not the end of the story, afterwards they kept asking for all kind of additional testing for the newborn even though, I believe, at a glance everybody could see it was a healthy baby, and we declined some of this. For this reason we were asked to stay for the day so they could keep an eye on the baby and mother. The baby was born in the early morning and we had hoped to leave in the afternoon given that everything went well and mother and child were healthy. So we expressed our desire to do this and they said we were not allowed to leave unless we agreed to have a blood test and X-ray taken of the baby, which we declined again. Therefore they said we had to stay the night for observation. 

We get it, we understand they meant well and they were doing it for the baby’s safety. However it came with what I feel to be a threat to do as we were told or they’d call the police. Which puts things into perspective- I feel the reality is that I felt we were held against our will for a night, seemingly hostage just because we didn’t agree to allow the doctor to do whatever they wanted to our child, despite the fact that we are adults and can make our own informed decisions.

Somehow, it seems the hospital took authority over our child, even though we never made such an agreement, no contract was signed, no disclosure of this rule was ever mentioned. I think this information is important, and they should inform people before they make plans for using their services.

As it stands, we feel they were just gaslighting us for daring to decline their health advice. In the end we were discharged the next morning, they said everything was good! Just as we told them, just as, I believe, it was obvious.

One more thing we didn’t like in our seemingly forced stay at the hospital, there was no way to alter the temperature or fan strength of the air conditioner in the rooms - this was horribly drying, blasting 24/7 and especially for a newborn didn’t feel particularly health-promoting.

On a positive note, all the other staff at the hospital were great, lovely people, they treated us well and in my opinion, most of them could see that we were being treated unfairly and that there was no need for the treatment we received, and it all started with that one doctor who dishonoured our written and signed birth plan, which we were told is a legally binding document. 

I hope sharing our story helps to make a positive change in the health system.