"My story began when my eldest son recognised my real progress of 'repairing'."

Hi,

I'm 41 years old, an empowered woman and Mum of 5 amazing children. 

All who are incredibly resilient, capable, and unique individuals. Their unconditional love of me, and loving care for one another is our foundation in our family.

I am their rock, sanctuary in a hard world and safe place.

I didn't always feel this, nor provided this for my children when I was tangled up from my own childhood traumas and self-medicated. I certainly didn't feel at times id ever come out from the rut I was in and became desperate for a better life for us and them go on a break until i got well. At my worst tumultuous time, I put them to higher ground under my sister's eventual care, when I was too unwell.

At the moment I've about completed for the year my Certificate 3 in Community Services and ready to extend doing the Diploma next year and pick up work in the field I enjoy...Working in the Community.

My Aim is to have my children back into my daily care sooner than later and whereas I only felt hope at the beginning of the year, today I now envision our future and have belief.

I struggled alone in the throes of self-medicating, isolated from supports and having kept toxic people including other family members which i now know held me back and stuck during my struggling years with alcohol and low self-esteem.

A long-time family friend of mine had her beautiful Mum and family, offer me her sanctuary being her home. To come and stay under such genuine care and recharge, whilst I get back on my feet.

My addiction, unhealed wounds and unsafe people remaining in my life, literally had me in the gutter where I moved from 25 years self-medicating with alcohol to abusing ice frequently.

I came under her roof after 3 weeks off it and immediately went to work in placing safe supports in my life with the commitment to work at abstinence and goal in "Getting Well & Staying Well.'

My desire as a loving Mumma and capable strong woman I felt underneath my wounds to be. I also came under her roof with a court case against me, after a drug fuelled mental health crisis last year. 

Also, I had reported my childhood abuse and was shunned from my sister for exposing our childhood abuser, and from seeing my children let alone phone calls at the time.

This was my greatest wounds.

I seriously had to get real and honest.  I needed help and guidance around facing my battles and scars. I reached out and called Dianella as a starting point towards my inner commitment I placed on myself in creating my own outside rehab regime and healthier lifestyle changes.

During a short time of abusing myself with ICE use I came to the realisation that "I MATTER". This led to me in making the effort to care about myself amongst the chronic grief I felt not having my children under my daily wing to care for.

Dianella was suggested to me by a friend and immediately on reaching their cottage i felt comfortable by the kept garden, bright welcoming posters and clear dates and events I felt an inters to join.

I had to ring up first and the friendly helpful staff guided me to where a support worker "Andy" got back to me straight away with a welcoming and non-judgmental vibe.

I turned up feeling I'm OK & welcomed.

From that appointment I stayed committed as i was to my 3 day a week TAFE course after 22 years since handing assignments in at school.

it's almost 6 months down the track where I've built a trusting rapport and ease with a fabulous counsellor Anthony, attended a 4-weekly GRIT course and attended a few fun inviting craft sessions. I'm also 6 months clean from abusing ICE with no relapses either.

Dianella with their holistic and supporting approach to me and warm welcome has also encouraged me to stay engaged after a few minor lapses with alcohol and gambling.

Dianella in KATOOMBA NSW with their person focused approach, have been amazing and are encouraging for me to stay engaged into their programs and counselling options.

I believe the greatest strength I've shown myself was to become honest with myself and take a leap of trust in the service too. 

I did which made me feel safer to share my struggles, accomplishments and doubts and openness for genuine feedback as a willing client at Dianella. 

Today my eldest son and younger children are in closer, and more in contact with me.

 I've returned to them as a well Mum and pillar of strength I am becoming.

They mentioned how good I look and well. My youngest ones feel they never thought I was sick!

 My inner strength they all gave this Mumma to repair, especially when I felt too broken to firstly enabled me to find my inner spirit to live a life i wish for them and encouragement to work in every way I could even if uncomfortable, to reach that.

 Alone I once struggled, together through strong community and services such as Dianella. Me and my children's dreams are coming true and i thank you deeply.

This is why I'm here telling my story, for continuation for my "Journey of Discovery", at being well and staying that way gratefully.