"Sobriety"

As I head into the last few months of my first year off alcohol, I would like to send thanks to the staff at Lives Lived Well Nowra for their ongoing support and the tools they have given me. Without them I would not be where I am today.

FINDING MY LIGHT

I thought it made me happy, people said it made me fun.

I thought it made me fit in, wasn’t this how it was done?

Instead, I was unhappy. It turned out I wasn’t fun.

The crowd it helped me fit in with was never quite the one

I threw it to the kerb thinking I had found my self

I headed off into my life but returned to it for help

I told myself I had this, that I could conquer all.

The truth was I was drowning, hanging on, waiting to fall.

The cycle was relentless. I couldn’t break its grasp.

I felt backed in a corner. I knew I couldn’t last.

The drop felt like forever. Hurt, depression, shame and guilt

Could I break the cycle or was this how I was built?

Though life can be a struggle, I thought that I was strong.

I made the worst of choices. How could I be so wrong?

Then I started to see glimpses of the person I could be.

The one that some had told me was the person they could see.

I don’t know where I found the strength to take my final stand.

I held my breath and took the leap not knowing where I’d land.

Today I’m stepping forward with my head held to the sky.

My insides are not crawling or trying to scream or yell or cry.

I look towards tomorrow and the joy that it can bring.

I feel the music inside me and the words I want to sing.

The verses hold such beauty, the chorus so much love.

The lyrics sound like they are sung by angels up above.

I know I’ll still glance behind me so I will not forget,

The places I have been to, and where I want to get.

My sober life is beautiful, it’s showing me the way

To a place where I can love myself and where I want to stay.

- Sober