"Birthing Experience"

My experience as a mum – feeling supported, then let down when it mattered most

I’ve found this very hard to write, but I feel it’s important to share my experience.

Early in my pregnancy, my partner left after finding out and made it very clear he did not want to be involved. I shared this with my obstetrician at Lilydale Community, and from that point I was given incredible support. A social worker was involved, and I was connected in with the midwives through Angliss House.

Throughout my pregnancy, the care I received was outstanding. The midwives were supportive, attentive, and genuinely cared about my wellbeing and my situation. I felt seen, supported, and safe during a very vulnerable time in my life.

Unfortunately, my experience during labour and after the birth was very different.

I went into Angliss, and everything was progressing with midwives’ support. I had clearly communicated my wishes, including wanting as natural a birth as possible, cord cutting preferences, that I wanted to keep my placenta, and who I consented to be present during my birth.

During labour, one of the midwives checked me and became very concerned, saying she could feel a cord. She was very clear and persistent about this. The obstetrician reviewed and said they could not feel a cord, and labour continued.

Within minutes, I experienced a cord prolapse. Everything suddenly became an emergency. The midwife who had raised the concern acted quickly and did everything she could to protect my baby while I was rushed to theatre — I was on all fours, with the midwife physically holding my baby in place to protect the cord. (whilst trying to provide same diginity of being covered like a corpse)

There were complications during this time because electrical works meant the emergency code wasn’t called properly over the speakers. It was chaotic and frightening, despite me remaining as calm as possible not to bring more stress on my body. I went from sending my baby’s father a photo giving a thumbs up on the yoga ball, to a nurse calling him to say I was being taken for an emergency caesarean.

I woke up a few hours later trying to piece together what had happened.

In the days after, while on the postnatal ward, I felt a noticeable drop in care. I often had to use the buzzer repeatedly for basic things like catheter care, emptying bags, and having my observations done. Different midwives also gave conflicting opinions about my baby’s wellbeing, which added to the stress and uncertainty.

After getting home, I realised we had not been discharged with my placenta. When I called to follow this up, I was told it had been disposed of. I had clearly requested to keep it, and earlier that same day I had been told it was there in the fridge. Finding out it had been thrown out without my consent was extremely upsetting, but no one could even tell me when it was thrown out or locate the timeframe of the disposal.

Over a week later, I received a call advising that my baby’s newborn screening blood test had been lost and that we needed to return to have it done again urgently. I explained we were already booked in for additional thyroid blood tests later that week, however the midwife I spoke to was concerned as there were no indicators for this. After multiple discussions between paediatricians, the delivering obstetrician, the night nurses, and postnatal staff, it was confirmed that this referral had been made in error and was not required.

One of the midwives who later visited us at home was absolutely wonderful. She listened, acknowledged what had happened, and encouraged me to make a formal complaint.

Both she and I made a formal complaint. I have never received a response.

When I returned to the hospital for my baby’s repeat blood test, that same midwife escalated things and arranged for myself and my babys father to speak directly with managers from the birthing suite and postnatal ward. They were unable to answer key questions at the time, including what had happened with my placenta and what the expectations of care should have been on the ward. I was told I would receive a call later that day with answers.

That call never came.

I followed up again two weeks later and still received no response. To this day, I have not been given any explanation, apology, or closure.

This has been incredibly hard to process as a mum. I was already feeling deeply unappreciated, unacknowledged, and unsupported by my baby’s father, and this experience only intensified that feeling and highlighted just how alone I was during one of the most important and vulnerable times in my life.

While I am so grateful for the support I received during my pregnancy, the experience during labour and especially after the birth left me feeling unheard, unsupported, and let down at a time when I needed care the most.

I am sharing this because I don’t want other women to go through a similar experience, especially those who may already be navigating pregnancy and birth on their own.

What I would like is simple — acknowledgment, answers, and reassurance that these things are taken seriously and won’t happen to someone else.