I want to share my experience with a night nurse in Ward 9C recently, during what was one of the most devastating experiences of my life — watching my mum die.
I had been by Mum’s side for close to 48 hours. The night before had been extremely difficult, with Mum very distressed and her medications not adequately controlling her symptoms. We had been reassured by the day and afternoon nursing staff, as well as the palliative care team, that the following night would be managed differently. We were told the night staff would schedule visits to offer medication so that, as a family, we could make the decision about whether Mum needed it.
During the night, I asked the night nurse a simple question. Instead of receiving compassion or a clear explanation, the interaction became an argument, with the nurse raising their voice at me.
I was also frustrated by the lack of explanation around Mum’s treatment. Medical terminology was used when, as a family going through the most distressing time of our lives, simple and understandable language would have been far more appropriate.
Eventually, I had to ask the nurse to leave the room because their raised voice and confrontational manner were causing distress to both myself and other members of my family.
I cannot adequately express how upsetting this was. I was not a difficult family member looking for an argument. I was a relative sitting beside their dying mum, exhausted, frightened and trying to understand what was happening so that we could make the best decisions for her.
The majority of the staff who cared for Mum showed us incredible kindness and compassion, and I will always be grateful to those people. But this particular interaction has stayed with me because, at such a vulnerable point in our lives, compassion should have been at the centre of their care.
Nobody should have to advocate for basic compassion while watching their loved one die.
I hope this experience is reflected on, because families in palliative care need to feel safe, heard, respected and supported — especially when they are living through the final hours of someone they love.
"Diabolical Treatment of Family of Palliative Care Patient"
About: Royal Perth Hospital / Respiratory Medicine & Ward 9C Royal Perth Hospital Respiratory Medicine & Ward 9C Perth 6000
Posted by novemberjm87 (as ),
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