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"stroke patient"

About: Frankston Hospital

(as the patient),

A couple of years ago I started walking in circles (couldn't help it). A neighbour took me to the Frankston Hospital. They took a blood test and said there was nothing wrong with me. Mind you, as I was leaving, the bandaid ripped off and a geyser of blood splattered onto the ceiling (possibly my memory is a little faulty, here).

The next day I had a bigger stroke and an ambulance took me back to the Frankston Hospital. I was too far gone to care, really.

The hospital gave me an ECG. using stickers with a chemical good for your heart (so I was told). Not very good for your head, though, if accidentally forgotten.

Later, with the headache to end all headaches, I called for the night nurse to help. They didn't. I threw a clean and empty plastic urinal at their receding body. I was kicked out of the hospital, first thing the next morning. I think now, that throwing the urinal saved my life!

I was taken to Monash Medical Centre, where, after being subjected for a while to my bizarre behaviour, they stripped me naked and discovered the chemical patches.

There is more to the story, if anyone's interested.

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