In late 2015 my beloved father died in the Intensive Care Unit of Box Hill Hospital. He was in his seventies. He was a husband, a father, a brother, an uncle and a friend. I am sharing my story because I am appalled and disappointed at the lack of communication and overall treatment my family received during Dad’s stay at Box Hill Hospital. I expected more, especially in ICU.
For those of you who have ever experienced having someone you love in ICU you will know the helplessness you feel and the terror at the realisation that someone you love with all your heart and soul could die at any moment. You will know that you look to the doctors and nurses in charge for hope, compassion, support, guidance, answers and reassurance.
Dad had multiple Myeloma that had recently morphed into Acute Plasma Cell Leukaemia. We knew his time was limited but we did not expect him to leave us so soon. He was admitted to Box Hill Hospital 6 days prior and just after midnight 3 days later, I received a call from the ward at Box Hill Hospital to advise me that Dad had taken a turn for the worse and was being admitted to ICU with breathing difficulties. My family and I rushed to the hospital and went straight to ICU but were told he was still in the ward. We then went straight to the ward and saw Dad but were told to meet him in ICU. We waited over two hours outside ICU. My sister rang the bell outside ICU about an hour later to enquire about Dad and we were told - we know you’re there and we’ll come and get you when he arrives. Not once did someone come out to speak to us. So another hour passed before we were ushered into ICU.
When we finally arrived in ICU we were told that Dad had hours to live. Not once did someone sit us down and tell us what was going on. We got mixed messages about his condition and what was wrong.
In the midst of the chaos I need to mention that one of the nurses in charge, Andrew, was fantastic, going out of his way to make my family comfortable, offering to call a priest, bringing us candles in preparation for the priest’s arrival and generally providing as much support as he could. He also went out of his way to find me an iPhone charger. One of my sisters was overseas at the time and was desperate to see our father (on FaceTime) and say goodbye given we’d been told he only had hours to live. My battery was dying so we were desperate to find a charger so she could say goodbye.
As it turned out, Dad held on until Sunday evening thankfully and my sister arrived from overseas and was able to say her goodbyes.
From the early hours of Friday morning until Sunday evening we did our best to make Dad comfortable.
On Sunday morning we finally got an audience with Dad’s fill-in Haematologist, the consultant in charge in ICU, the registrar and some of the nurses. This was at our request and up until then we felt that everyone had given up on us and they were just waiting for my father to die. The consultant in charge discussed Dad’s condition and mentioned that Dad may continue in this state for weeks even though they did mention that his condition was not looking good. I also expressed my concerns about the lack of communication as well as some of the things that had upset me since the morning Dad took his turn for the worse. The consultant acknowledged my feedback and admitted the lack of communication is endemic in the medical profession. While I appreciate their admission, I do not care and it needs to be fixed. No family should have to go through this. You are dealing with real people; real people with feelings; with families – people who have served their community, who are loved and adored. Would you treat your own father like that?
At this point I would like to give feedback about two nurses in particular but I will not name them here. The first told me in no uncertain words on the Friday morning that - the mask will have to come off sooner or later. When he deteriorates, and he will deteriorate, it will have to come off and we won’t resuscitate. I asked them whether my family and I had a say in the matter and they told me we did not. I am not disputing the fact that they were trying to portray the gravity of the situation, what I am angry and frustrated about is:
1. They are not a doctor and at no time did a doctor portray this information to us.
2. Their bedside manner needs improvement.
The second nurse upset me even more. They were the last nurse assigned to my father. All through their shift they hardly went near him – it felt as though they were like - Oh well, he’s dying so why bother. At one point near the end I asked this nurse whether it was almost time to move Dad as up until then the nurses moved his position so he would be more comfortable. They looked at me and said bluntly, with what felt like absolutely no emotion – If I move him he might die. Their comment was very confronting. The nurse then said to me - I don’t know what you’ve been told but he doesn’t have weeks, he has days. They paused and then said - No he doesn’t even have days; he has hours.
Having said that I would like to make special mention of a few exemplary individuals who looked after my father during his stay in ICU. Two people in particular stand out for me and my family – Brenden and Katie. These two people were born to be nurses. They treated my father with so much respect and my family with compassion and care. They did not give us false hope, they gave us the facts but at the same time they did not take away our hope. They were kind and compassionate and I cannot speak highly enough of them. There were many more stars who took care of Dad – and while I can’t remember all their names the ones I do remember are Imogen, Candice, Neil, and one of the registrars, John. And on behalf of my family I thank each of them from the bottom of my heart. They helped us deal a little better with what was already a horrible situation.
After Dad’s passing we received a bereavement pack on our way out. While dad was in ICU we received nothing. For example, it would be good for families to know what to expect while their loved one is in ICU and where to go for support. The Austin Hospital has an entire booklet on what to expect in ICU and it’s readily available on their website.
Overall I am appalled and so disappointed with this treatment and would like to discuss this further with someone at Box Hill Hospital.
"Appalled and disappointed with lack of communication at Box Hill Hospital."
About: Box Hill Hospital Box Hill Hospital Box Hill 3128
Posted by Cruze74 (as ),