"Disability and mental health services"

I approached Mona Vale Community Health almost a decade ago maybe longer suffering PTSD, depression and social anxiety. Counselling they said would be hard and it was but I was hoping for a result for my efforts. I was on the DSP then. I hadn't left the house for 6 months except to buy cigarettes once a week. Been "stuck" and at the time the best advice was have a dinner party - lol yeah. Also I seem to be ultra sensitive to the antidepressants which made me suicidal. Not wanting to be a burden on my family I moved for 3 years to the country. Isolated yes, but among friendly helpful folks, many in similar positions. Took ages to feel ok again after I stopped taking the pills. After 4 years on the DSP  and not in my right head obviously, I said I'm ready to get back to work. Wrong. Now after a decade in poverty on the dole, I am a burden to my family. But without them I would be dead already. I worked 6 months in that time and failed miserably. I still get out of the house weekly, but now I do socialise once a month at a local club. I have developed an oral tic I find is associated with the drugs given and something like dyslexia, words jump about on the page. Filling out forms is a major challenge, the DSP is a faint dream because of this and changes to the system. At least the computer has a spell check. I need dental work, hernia operation and desperately want to give up smoking.

Yet I find it almost impossible to ask for help and am not getting much better.

I should never have got off the DSP or taken their drugs.