"My pregnancy"

I want to talk about my experience during my second pregnancy.

I went through the birth centre for my first pregnancy and I can't praise enough the care I received by the midwife from the birth centre before and after the birth of my baby. Unfortunately, due to meconium in the water, on the day of the birth, I was transferred to the hospital and ended up having a C-section because I did not progress fast enough for the hospital. I am still trying to heal the mental scars from that birth.

Because of this, I was told that I could not go through the birth centre for my following pregnancy. I am now over half way through my pregnancy and want a VBAC. I am going through the Midwifery Group Practice and the hospital. I am really disappointed about this. Especially since I met the doctor of the hospital, who was really strict about what was possible and not, without listening to what I wanted for the birth of my child. I understand that there are guidelines and procedures and why they are in place, but what is good for someone, might not be good for someone else. When it is about birth, the woman should be respected and listen to. The doctor even mention that if my priority was the health of my baby, I should do what I was told. I felt insulted. Of course my priority is the health of my child, but it doesn't mean that I can't hope for the birth I feel is best for me and my baby. The doctor lied to us (saying for example that only one room was available for a water birth, when I know for a fact that all the rooms have bathtubs where it is possible to birth in and that it has been done), to push our decisions in the way she wanted too.

I am scared of going to the hospital for the birth. My husband and I even seriously discussed the possibility of a free birth (as there is no private midwife who does home birth in the area). But we decided against it, as it sound too dangerous to us - but it was a serious thought for a while.

We feel trapped between a free birth, which scares us and the hospital which scares me almost as much. We have no other choice.

I am a healthy mum with a healthy pregnancy. I do feel that I should be able to go through the birth centre (which is right next to the emergency service if something were to happen). They offer exactly the kind of birth I wish for and have amazing staff.

I am at the moment I'm really stressed about giving birth at the hospital and having to fight for everything I think is best for me and my baby, which should not be the case when you are pregnant.