"NICU Nurse"

My experience at the Royal Hospital for Women has left me with a mixed impression as some aspects were incredibly positive but a few experiences in particular were very troubling and I feel, in order for these not to continue occurring, it is important that they be brought to the attention of those in charge.

I had my premature baby and learning to be a mother in the newborn intensive care unit (NICU) is stressful to say the least. There are so many emotions at play as well as hormones. There is a raw sense of grief and loss of experiences that a mother thinks she will have and you have to learn to adapt to a strange new normal. I believe it is so important to feel safe and supported by NICU staff, as they are the people who are looking after your baby.

Unfortunately, my experience with one nurse in particular really added a great deal of stress and anxiety to my already heightened emotions. This nurse exhibited what I felt was confrontational behaviour, used harsh words and has brought myself and, I believe, other mothers to tears. I am completely shocked that this nurse's behaviour has not been addressed prior to my encounters with them. In my opinion, this nurse lacked the gentleness and compassion so needed by new mothers.

On one occasion, the nurse gave me wrong information about the storage of my precious expressed milk that I had worked so hard to express, with the message delivered without compassion or gentleness. I cannot believe I nearly threw out my precious milk. Fortunately, another nurse told me in time that information was incorrect and that my colostrum was the best thing for my baby. This corrected information was reaffirmed by my lactation consultant. The social worker was fantastic and affirmed that a nurse needs to provide care for my baby and to me, which I felt was not the case.

This nurse not only gave me wrong information resulting in increased levels of anxiety and a great deal of confusion, but I felt the language used was sarcastic and abrupt.

The nurse confronted my husband in relation to new restrictions due to the COVID-19 pandemic, accusing us of breaking the rules intentionally, giving false information and made a threat to take action against my husband, who wasn’t actually breaking the rules which was confirmed by several other nurses. This caused an incredible amount of stress in the middle of an already stressful time and my mental health was impacted.

For the most part the NICU nurses were great although I feel some further training in professionalism could be helpful. I believe the nurse in question has limited tact and is quite forceful and while providing quality care for the babies. I have been led to believe that this nurse’s behaviour is known for upsetting parents and because of this, really needs to assess their approach to parents. When I relayed my concerns to another nurse I was dismissed and told that they were sure the nurse didn’t mean to upset me.

In my opinion, that is not the point, whether the nurse meant to be rude, accusatory and threatening or not, that is how they behaved and I was upset, so the behaviour needs to be addressed especially considering, I believe, it is taking place frequently and in such a sensitive environment where parents are incredibly vulnerable.

Hopefully my story can prevent future NICU parents from having to deal with this type of behaviour as well as everything else they are dealing with and provide some feedback for the nurse in question and the unit as a whole as a nurse causing a parent distress is absolutely unacceptable.