"More suicidal after admission than before"

In my opinion, the psychiatrist was rude, condescending and refused to listen. When I expressed concern for my safety if I was sent home overnight, I was told that I was low risk because I had been getting suicidal thoughts for years.

I believe they ignored previous diagnoses from other professionals, with no explanation. I was told that I only thought I was depressed (perhaps this is why, in my opinion, they couldn't be bothered ensuring they had a supply of my antidepressants). I asked for a second opinion from a different psychologist/ psychiatrist. I didn't get one.

I was asked invasive questions about my physical disability from almost every nurse I spoke to, none of which, I believe were related to my treatment. I feel that all questions seemed to be only to satisfy the nurses' personal curiosity. 

Due to trauma at that hospital under its old management, I was unable to stay in the therapy room for more than a few seconds without having a panic attack.

When I spoke to the OT about alternative arrangements for therapy, I was told it would not be possible. I was unable to attend any DBT or other therapy sessions.

I believe the hospital did not ensure they had an adequate supply of my anti-depressants or a way of accessing more. They declined my parents' offer to bring more of my medication to the hospital to ensure they had enough, so on the last night of my stay, I was not given my anti-depressant. While this was not the first time they missed my medication, it was definitely the worst.

The next morning I was discharged. This happened without my knowledge, and by the time I was told to pack my bags they had already completed the paperwork.

When I asked about a second opinion, I was told I'd already been discharged. When I asked to contact an advocate, I was told it was too late and I'd already been discharged. 

When I started crying (I was being discharged after making no progress, being given no treatment and having been forced to miss my anti-depressants), one of the nurses sat down beside me and quietly said that doing so is not appropriate behaviour. I felt that did not improve the situation or my state of mind.

I spent the next week in bed crying. I was discharged with no referrals to other mental health services, so I had nowhere else to go.

For the next month, I was more suicidal than I had been before my admission.

My parents had to be ready to leave work at a moment's notice so that I didn't die.

I am not exaggerating when I say that in my opinion, being at this hospital nearly killed me.

In my opinion, I am probably alive today, a year after, because I found a mental health service that would take me. I believe if the hospital had referred me, it would have saved so much angst, but I had to find them myself.

Instead of focusing on the issues that brought me to Bentley in the first place, we are having to focus on the almost complete lack of trust in anyone or anything, feelings I feel that largely resulted from my stay in Bentley.

I did not enjoy writing this. I did not want to write this.

But I'm scared that if no one says anything, I believe someone will end up dead.