"My experience"

I was placed in the MHOA last year. I went on three separate occasions in a short time frame, trying to get some form of help. I was very suicidal, which was the main reason for going to the hospital. I have a life long illness and I managed to stay out of JHC for many years. I was hearing voices and feeling paranoid.

My first visit I was put in ER with a referral from a Consultant at my clinic, asking for a medication review. My second visit was from when I was told to try the hospital in the home team. They themselves told me if I felt suicidal with hallucinations they, from my recollection, could not look after me, I had to go to hospital. The third visit I again sat around in MHOA and eventually was admitted to the ward. I waited 2 weeks before seeing my Consultant. The doctor I saw was telling me I had BPD - like it or not! I didn't have anything else. Next day I was falsely accused of smoking and because I didn't take my night meds they would be discharging me. At the meeting, I felt this doctor was shouting at me. The last visit was when they threw me off the ward, I was so upset, I walked straight across to my clinic and told the nurses what had happened. They immediately placed me on a form and back again I went on MHOA. At that time, I believe they took no notice of the form. I saw a different doctor that just felt like they were throwing the BPD diagnosis in my face, stating I needed to manage this myself. I said to them, alright, I'll go back home then. Then I felt they suddenly decide to put me on another form to stop me from leaving! 

A couple of hours later, they discharged me again!

I know this is a long story, but I feel I need to let others know how some people are treated in MHOA. I felt this unit was supposed to be a better environment for mental health patients, but in my opinion, it's not. This was, I feel, not a safe place, they do not offer support, suggestions or sympathy. I also believe they do not observe or assess you. I say that because all the time I was running around the ward trying to find the voices I heard, I believe they did not see. When I told them I was hearing voices, they wouldn't question me, or listen to me when I spoke to them. In fact, they said they are not real hallucinations.

Also, it is a locked ward as well, even for the voluntary patients. So all the rights you should have as a voluntary patient, are in my opinion, gone.

These are the comments I received from my recollection, from Registrar's, Consultants and Nursing staff members;

1) We don't treat people with your diagnosis anymore

2) You need to take responsibility for yourself

3) We will not be admitting you onto the ward (unit)

4) You need to learn how to live with it

5) We do not treat you in MHOA, it's an observation & assessment place

6) We can't stop you from killing yourself

7) We will keep you in MHOA for 24-48 hours, most people feel better then

8) Your hallucinations are not real, there ("Pseudo-hallucinations")

9) You have BPD, even though you disagree

10) You come in hospital with the same problems, so we don't believe admitting you helps at all.

In my opinion, the doctors here show no empathy at all. I feel they do not listen to a word you say. They tell you that this is how you think and feel and they do not like you to disagree with them based on my experience. Sad, hey!

So it's not surprising to hear me say, I will never go back to this hospital again, even if I feel my life depended on it.