"Birth"

Hello,

It's been almost three years since the birth of my child, and it has taken me this long to write anything down. But I feel I’m ready now. With all that’s going on, I commend the bravery and knowledge of those working in our health system.

My story must be on file, in your piles of files. Please know that I don’t wish to offend or intentionally hurt any doctors who were involved. I just want to speak my truth.

In 2017, I was ‘overdue’, then induced, meanwhile, outside my hospitable bed window, a builder was using a power tool that cut metal. This didn’t help my anxiety. They also refused to stop when my parent went out and asked them to. I have a memory of the doctor on duty telling someone how long they'd been at the hospital and how, in the past week, they’d been there more than they could remember. Then they put a needle in my spine. There’s a time limit, I presume, for safety.

I was prepared for surgery and luckily I had my baby on the table. I tore and was stitched. I still have discomfort. I have since heard that a different stitch would have been better for my recovery. This doctor was the only doctor who had compassion. I remember their touch, their calmness and their way of communicating.

Before all this came ‘the talk’. I was warned by many women about'the foreign doctor’. A young doctor who gave me an ultrasound one week after my due date. This is the doctor who put fear into me. Fear makes the body tense, and as a first time mother that felt strong and ready to take on the task at hand, I found myself walking out of that appointment in tears. I felt weak. My sibling offered to drive, but I said no. This is my biggest criticism:the use of fear to get a patient to do what the doctor thinks is best. Where is the compassion?

My midwife was compassionate, my parent, sibling, partner were compassionate, but I feel fear was used far too often during my time with medical professionals to get me to do what they thought was best. The third doctor came after I had been in recovery for a few hours and gave us a talk on birth control. I recall they said if we have another one, be prepared to have a similar experience.

I take my hat off to my midwife; she knew the doctor that delivered me back in Sydney, about 40 years ago. That doctor sat in a bean bag and watched while I was born. At home. My mother knew what she was doing and did it three more times all at home. The doctor was just there if needed. When she had my brother, he was so quick the doctor didn’t even make it off the boat. 

I believe love and compassion have as much power as science. I feel that we need to go back to old ways: the old ways of learning, teaching/mentoring and loving. In my opinion, so much more love and compassion is needed in our health systems. I wrote this a year ago and couldn’t bring myself to pick it back up again, till this evening as my partner sits in the hospital with a person who has just had a heart attack at home, alone. They are now being cared for by your staff and, again, I thank you for that. I’m sure they are feeling trauma. I too was traumatised by my experience. I know it could have been better. 

I’m now expecting my second child and swore I wouldn’t do it again at Broome hospital, yet here I am. I’m more informed, more experienced, and I have moved past some of the trauma from the first time. I think the three previous doctors have moved on. I have only had positive, strong women around me when entering your hospital. But I ask please take your time, rest well, and look after yourselves first and foremost, so you can be the best caregivers you can be. I understand the pressure you’re under, but please learn loving kindness and know that what you say can leave a lasting emotional impact on your patients. I trust my midwife, partner and Doula, so let’s hope this time around, it’s different.

Fear is what the world is experiencing now, and it isn’t healthy. Compassion and loving kindness is needed when dealing with people. Broome needs a birthing centre that embodies this. Not more boat ramps or roundabouts. We need to look after our mothers and children. The young boys and girls in this town need love.

Thank you