"Gaslighting during miscarriage"

I had a missed miscarriage and my pregnancy was being managed through Box Hill Hospital. Through my doctor I was referred to the hospital to talk through options and I felt they were great. We opted for a D&C and were explained the possibility that as I understand it, the D&C wouldn't be complete in about 5% of cases and they would need do it again to get the remaining tissue. I had the surgery the same week.

When I woke up from the surgery, I believe I was bleeding a lot but it seemed all of the doctors had gone home and I remember the nurses assured me it was ok. A few days later, I was having severe abdominal cramping with no bleeding and my partner called an ambulance as I recall we had been told this is not normal after the surgery and to come to the hospital if there is any pain. I was taken to the ED at Box Hill given the procedure I had a few days earlier.

I felt everyone in the waiting room was seen before me. I wasn't given any pain relief. When I finally saw a doctor, I recall they said if I wasn't bleeding it must be ok. No examinations were done. The doctor asked if the pregnancy was planned and when I said no, I believe they said well, I can't be too upset then. I was finally given some pain relief and moved to short stay.

I remember another doctor then came after midnight to say I could leave but I insisted I couldn't as I had just been given pain relief, my partner had left and I hadn't been seen by an Ob/Gyn. They brought an Ob/Gyn down who pressed on my stomach which was tender, and as I understand it, they said I was fine if there was no bleeding and didn't need to do an ultrasound as there would be nothing to see so I went home.

The next day I started passing large clots but I didn't return to Box Hill after the dismissal I felt I had experienced there. I went to a GP who I believe thought it was probably ok but I could pay over $200 to check if there is any of the pregnancy remaining through ultrasound. I had the ultrasound at my expense.

I then had severe pain once again and was passing clots and tissue and returned to the ED at the Angliss. This time I was taken to a ward for monitoring. I brought the tissue with me and they took it for testing. I stayed for a couple of nights and they did an ultrasound that I remember showed there was about 1cm of something remaining but it must be nearly all out and would pass on it's own. I went home again with an appointment for a follow up in one week.

A few days later, I was bleeding through more than one pad an hour and still passing clots. I went back to the Angliss ED where I believe I was told I was ok and could go home. Once again, I felt I had to insist to see an Ob/Gyn. I recall the Ob/Gyn said that it must be the final 1cm of tissue and that 1cm of blood and clots is more than it seems, so I went home. They pushed my follow up appointment back another few days but said to come in for an ultrasound beforehand.

I was in pain for the week but I felt nobody at the hospital would help me so I waited for the appointment. I had the ultrasound and then went to the follow up. As I understand it, the ultrasound showed that the 1cm had grown to 3-4cm and so hadn't passed. They finally decided they needed to do a D&C again and use the camera this time to see what they were doing. Once the second D&C was done the bleeding, clotting and pain stopped.

This is a long story but it has also taken me a long time to express it as I feel I was so dismissed and gaslighted by hospital staff over a period of about 3 weeks that I felt silly. I believe they dismissed me as a grieving woman. In my opinion, if they had done what my initial appointment had made sound so easy and repeated the D&C in a case with retained products I would have been spared a lot of pain. I have since had a healthy baby through the private hospital system and I believe the level of care was incomparable. I feel it's a pity that I believe I was treated so badly that I didn't trust the public system to deliver my baby and look after me safely.