"Birth"

At my 41 week assessment to be cleared for home birth, I was told KEMH ‘do not recommend’ I have a home birth based on my baby being only 3.7kgs per the scan that day. As I understand it, my baby, according to the average gestational weight for babies at 41wks was the exact average weight. I actually looked up the Australian birth weight statistics for my baby’s gestation and told the dr that my baby was the average for the gestation to which I recall they replied absolutely not. Based on what information? I would actually like an answer to that question.

I felt the dr was not clear when they said that home birth is not recommended; there is a difference between recommendation (you have a choice) and you’re not allowed (you don’t have a choice). It seemed I was not allowed a home birth. I believe the dr had zero bedside manner, I was absolutely crushed by their seemingly uneducated decision because I hate hospitals, they give me a lot of anxiety and I felt they started pressuring me into an induction which is the complete opposite of what I wanted.

The dr requested I call my spouse to confirm an induction rather than me going home and talking with them like I told the dr I was going to do. I feel that this dr loved the power trip of, in my opinion, unnecessarily taking away my ability to birth at home with CMP and could not have cared less about how upset I was. I recall the dr told me I have a high risk of a stillbirth, I believe not true based on this. Unless 0.56% is ‘high risk’:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23523099/

Can someone please direct me to what information the dr was using when they said I have a high chance of a stillbirth? All they could tell me was I have a high risk and it’s not safe. I felt there was no evidence based care, their reasoning for everything was that it’s not safe. Saying things like this instead of using evidence based information is disempowering to women and does not promote informed choices or body autonomy, in my opinion.

This dr also ruined the surprise of our baby’s gender as my spouse and I wanted to wait until birth to find out. As the dr walked away while I was in tears, I recall they said something such as, “don’t be upset, you’re going to meet your daughter” to which I asked if we’re having a girl. The dr then had a shocked look on their face and said they don’t think it’s written down. Why would the dr seemingly ruin that after ruining my home birth? I believe drs like this are the exact reason so many women are leaving the hospital system and either engaging private midwives or free birthing their babies, because they feel they have their body autonomy taken away, are pressured into unnecessary interventions and treated like they know nothing.

I was actually in early labour when I attended this appointment. No one told me that pelvic and hip pain in waves can be a sign of early labour, I was only ever asked or advised of stomach tightening. I believe this could be communicated to patients throughout their pregnancy appointments.

My midwives were amazing throughout the birth and really helped me advocate for myself. I felt like I was constantly fending off drs who wanted to ‘just pop in to say hi’ in case any intervention was needed. I don’t know how many times I asked the midwife to tell them to go away but at one point the dr did come in with what I believe was their fear mongering about stillbirth and how I should have continued monitoring because I was at high risk of a stillborn baby. How many times does someone have to say no until it actually means no for the drs at KEMH? It honestly felt like they were trying to beat me down so I would just say yes to shut them up. I was in the thick of labour having to advocate for myself, tell drs to go away and decline things I had already declined multiple times before.

It honestly felt like the recommendations were based on hospital policy and appeasing insurers rather than what was best for me and my baby as individuals, not just another number. I had quite a long labour and was highly stressed throughout it because I was in a hospital which gives me anxiety, I didn’t want to be there and I constantly had the drs wanting to come in or recommend things I had already said no to.

Because this experience left me feeling disempowered, disconnected, anxious, like my body autonomy had been taken away, alone, not valid and not worthy, I have been in therapy which has cost over $1k and it was all completely unnecessary. My baby girl came out perfectly fine, at an acceptable weight and alive, not stillborn like it seemed the KEMH drs kept saying she had a high risk of.

Given this experience, with my next babies I will either engage a private midwife or free birth. I will not risk KEMH taking away my power and forcing me into what I felt was an unnecessary birthing situation that causes stress, frustration and anger for no valid reason.