"My birthing experience"

My experience with the doctors and midwives was mixed, especially with a clinician I had on the day, when the clinician went to break my waters I complained that it hurt too much and could I please have gas and air. They stopped the procedure and set up the gas and air for me. I recall the clinician stopped the procedure and tensely grabbed the rail on the bed and said that yep, sure, I can have gas and air if you like, I mean, most women can take it and don't need it but yep if I can't take it then they'll give me gas and air.

This apparent 'crazy lady' dialogue and mentality, coming from a clinician with no lived experience, made me feel like I was asking too much. My body was telling me that I was in pain. It's a painful procedure. In my opinion, that means if I spoke up, there's plenty of women who aren't speaking up. 

Before breaking my waters, my partner and I spent about one hour with the clinician asking questions about being induced and any outcomes from being induced. The clinician also told me that there are a lot of women in the world who don't have access to the resources I was privileged to have on the day of my birthing and that I should be grateful. Excuse me? I was born in Australia, as I understand it, I didn't choose to have my baby in Australia. 

What followed was a traumatic labour and forceps delivery which I am still dealing with. The pain was unspeakable. I couldn't mentally take any more pain. I entered the course of intervention and had my baby not how I wanted too. No, I believe I am not spoiled for wanting a peaceful, calm birth where I, the mother, follow my instincts and use hypnobirthing.