"My child's hernia"

My child presented to ED four times in about 2 months with abdominal pain and sent away with inadequate diagnosis. My child had an umbilical hernia causing serious pain. The first presentation I was told nothing was wrong with their umbilical hernia and they don't cause pain. I recall the doctors told me that umbilical hernias do not cause pain. I disagreed but was still turned away. The second presentation I was told that my child was developing a cold - that's why they were in pain and in no relation to umbilical hernia (which I disagreed with, again).

Third presentation my child had persistent vomiting, lethargic, floppy with umbilical pain of which they then took me seriously and were about to take drastic measures to prevent my child becoming critically unwell. They then told me that their umbilical hernia was strangulating and it was a serious cause for concern and that we needed to get to Perth. ED finally put me in touch with another hospital’s surgical team and my child was booked to repair their umbilical hernia due to their large bowel strangulating. The surgeons at the other hospital informed me that umbilical hernias can cause pain and if they do they need to be surgically repaired to avoid serious complications like strangulation of the bowel. I believe this had already happened up to 50 times with my child in the 2 months – but it seemed I was still turned away by staff saying it wasn't that (even though as I understand it was).

The latest presentation my child and I presented as I could not reduce their hernia myself as they were in too much pain. I presented and was seen by a clinician in the waiting room of which they tried to reduce my child’s hernia without gaining consent or informing me of what they were going to do. I told the clinician to stop and I pushed their hands away after their attempt to reduce it after about 20 seconds. When I pushed their hands away from my child’s stomach, I felt they then tried to manually push even harder to try and reduce it. I said to the clinician "what are you doing? I told you to stop. Don't you need to give my child pain relief before doing something painful like this? This is what a paediatrician told me was basic protocol and you're doing this in the waiting room with no pain relief and without my permission!"

This clinician then went on to (what felt like) gaslight me and make me feel as though I was not helping my child and I was putting their health at risk by not letting them continue what they were doing. I told the clinician that I was under the impression that babies are giving pain relief or sedation before conducting a painful procedure like this. I then asked "what would you do if this was your child?" I recall the clinician continually shook their head and could not give me an answer.

Each presentation to Derby emergency I have felt judged as an overly anxious parent and not been listened to, as-well as my child’s bodily autonomy having been violated after being told to stop a procedure. I recall no consent was gained and how unbelievably inappropriate I felt my child was being poorly treated in the waiting room.

After this incident I called my partner to come down to which the clinician said they would organise a room for my child so they could be properly treated and be more comfortable. I felt as though the clinician  completely changed when my partner arrived – they were nothing like how they were when I was alone with them and my child in the waiting room.

I am still completely shaken and upset by the way I have been treated and how much pain my child has been suffering from, with an inadequate diagnosis. I feel this is not good enough. In my opinion, there needs to be some reflection and education for staff in ED. I wonder how do some clinicians seemingly get away with this.