"Traumatic birth experience"

The birth of my firstborn resulted in the placenta being stuck, a blood loss and me heading in to theatre for pieces of placenta to be surgically removed. The process terrified me so much that when I fell pregnant with my second, I almost didn't go through with it because of concerns of similar things happening. My GP came up with a plan and reassured me my whole pregnancy that there would be a doctor and consultant there while I was in labour so should anything go wrong again, they could act quickly. 

That did not happen.

Two midwives delivered my baby and my placenta got stuck. After trying the many needles and tablets, my placenta still wouldn't budge. No one was called to help. One midwife pushed down on my stomach and the other tugged the umbilical cord. But it snapped. Blood went everywhere. One midwife quickly put their hand inside me to try and grab the end of the cord. Thankfully, they were able to plug the end with their finger. Eventually, with a lot of pushing, the placenta came out. 

Despite my concerns that pieces may be left behind, the midwives said it was fine as they both checked over it twice. 

I got in the shower and blood and clots continued to pour out of me. I was told it was fine and it would settle down and was moved onto the ward. There was no doctor and no consultant, in fact I didn't see a doctor at all for several hours. 

On the ward I continued to bleed heavily. The nurses would come in to check my cervix was going back to normal and every time they pushed I would feel this horrible pain and clots would pour out again. I was in tears almost constantly. 

I finally saw a doctor about 6 1/2 hours after my baby was born. They assured me, as everyone had, that there was no placenta inside me.  They continued to give me various drugs to try and stop the bleeding/clotting but nothing worked. Every time they pushed it hurt like hell and everything flooded out. Due to covid rules, my partner was not allowed in and I was alone. 

I had a little ultrasound or something performed in the bed by the doctor who said they couldn't see anything causing the bleeding. Then at about midday the doctor finally decided they needed to take me into another room to investigate further because the bleeding still had not stopped.

What they did in that room had me literally screaming. I don't even know how to put it into words. I was sucking on the gas like I was in labour all over again. I know they were doing their job, but the pain was indescribable. At this point they decided a consultant needed to come see me. And they said I needed to go into theatre. As we were waiting for the room to be ready the doctor called the HC (I later found out that means hospital coordinator) and the doctor were shocked to hear the HC did not even know there had been a woman in maternity bleeding for nine hours. 

Before I went into theatre I had lost over 1.5L of blood and when I woke up I was told I lost another litre or so. There was placenta that was removed and the excessive bleeding and clots never happened again.

 I ended up in HDU afterwards, without my newborn baby or my partner. I was an emotional wreck and I was alone. The nurses would bring my baby every few hours to try and feed. By this point I had no tears left. 

One of the two midwives visited me on the ward afterwards and told me they thought the doctors were mistaken because they were certain they removed a complete placenta. No apology, only what felt like them trying to make themselves feel better. 

The next morning I wanted to get out. They told me I might need an iron infusion and I just didn't care. I wanted out. I wanted to go home where I felt safe and protected. I did not feel safe or protected on that ward. 

I'm sure everyone meant well, but I am absolutely traumatised by what happened. I understand things don't always go perfectly, I'm not saying what happened with my placenta delivery is their fault. But it was exactly the same as my first experience five years prior. The midwives said they had read what happened previously and were ready for if things went wrong again. But no one was called when it did. And for more than nine hours I sat in agony as blood and clots poured from me and midwives pushed on my stomach every half an hour because two people said it couldn't be the same as last time. And it was. 

Still to this day I feel pain in my abdomen. I get flashbacks and feel sick and cry. It's hard for me to be intimate with my partner. I have this beautiful baby who I'm so grateful is safe and healthy, but I am heartbroken that what should have been the happiest day of our life is so tarnished with this terrible experience. An experience which I feel could have been far less mentally and physically draining if I had been listened to and examined earlier. Instead, everyone changed my blueys every 30 minutes for nine hours telling me it should slow down now, it will stop soon.

I visited my GP who said they would tee up a meeting with the head of the department so I could maybe get some understanding and closure. But many weeks later and I have received no calls. 

I was told an investigation was conducted regarding my case after I was discharged. I was not asked to partake.