"Traumatic birth experience"

I was advised at late-term pregnant that it would be safer for me to be induced. My partner and I arrived early in the morning, we were really excited to meet our baby and have a successful Vbac that I had been preparing for 10 months for. Until the nurse advised us that my unvaccinated partner couldn’t be there during the induction process, even with a negative RATS test. We were unaware this was the case for unvaccinated people and it was a massive shock to us. I broke down in hysterics as I recall they forced my partner to leave in that moment.

I spent the whole day alone in the birth suite in tears. I felt intimidated, scared and embarrassed by the 5 people in the room (including students) seemingly staring at my vagina as the doctor put the catheter in my cervix. I stayed in the hospital all day and night alone.

Late in the evening my waters broke, intense contractions started straight away. I asked the midwife if I could call my partner to come, I recall they said no. Some time past midnight the midwife seemingly watched as I struggled to fit everything into my suitcase between contractions. My partner was finally aloud to come about half an hour later in the final stage of labour. I was having 5 minute long contractions with no break. I didn’t get to acknowledge my partner was there because contractions were non stop and I was so distraught.

When I was 8cms dialated baby’s heart rate started dropping because the contraction’s were long. Although after tests there was still oxygen supplied to baby they told me It had to be an emergency cesarean. I was rushed into theater and operated on for 2 hours with no apparent explanation of what was going on. I was begging them to put me to sleep because I couldn’t cope with feeling the bashing in my abdomen and the endless needles hanging out of my arms. One thing I really wanted was delayed cord clamping, I believe I was not heard as no one was at my head to listen to me screaming don’t cut the cord. The doctor cut the cord before baby was out. I’m really upset by this as I felt no one acknowledged my birth plan.

I wasn’t able to hold or feed my baby for 2 hours after birth and this broke my heart as I understand skin on skin is so important. I will never forget when it was over I felt they forced my partnerto say goodbye to me and our newborn baby. I went back to the ward alone and had to care for my baby for 3 days after my uterus ruptured when they cut it, cystoscopy because, as I understand it, they cut my bladder and I lost 1L of blood.

I will never forget watching my baby choke in the bassinet next to me while I couldn’t move to pick them up and help them. I felt so judged because of my own health decisions (being unvaccinated) When I was discharged my partner finally came up to help me shower and collect all my bags they were made to feel like a criminal and was asked to leave straight away.

The midwife said I had to carry my baby and rest of belongings because my partner wasn’t aloud back up. So I carried my baby in one arm and the other holding my towel, tumblr cup and phone while also having to open all the doors. I left balling my eyes out no-one stopped to help me and I hadn’t been given any pain meds and had to collect them from downstairs. when I asked if someone could open the doors for me I recall they said someone would be there and there wasn’t.

It was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me and not having support from my partner because they are unvaccinated was so upsetting. I believe that my baby was in distress because of the very emotional day I had after being told my partner couldn’t be there for support. I cried every time a midwife came in I believe I was clearly in distress and I felt judged and like no one cared.

I spent 10 months of pregnancy preparing mentally and physically for a positive, empowering, natural birth experience I believe I was robbed of that and I find myself still crying every time I think about it. I’m now several weeks postpartum and still bleeding heavily and they can’t find the cause. All for a virus so deadly that you need a test to know if you have it. The public health system is broken.