"Home birth compromise"

I live 5 mins from my local hospital (that doesn't do births), 25 mins from the next closest (that only does low risk births), 50 mins from the closest big new fancy hospital (that also does only low risk births, has only 1 OB who declined to take on my very low risk birth due to a minor procedure 12 months ago and doesn't have on call theatre for emergencies) and 1.5hrs (in the other direction) from the biggest nearby hospital that does all the higher risk births.

I had planned a home birth, but midwives are not allowed to call out to deliver where I live because I'm more than 30 mins from the big hospital that can do emergencies, even though we have a perfectly good large hospital that as I understand it, just doesn't want to pay the staff to be on call.

I compromised and agreed to go to the birthing centre at the closest place I could go and had to see a dr (who had never seen me before) to allow me to birth there, sign a form to say that I'm aware of the lack of OB doctors and that I agree to be at risk of having to be transferred for any number of reasons, one of which is a staffing issue, not even a medical one.

I had to push to be allowed to birth with midwives, the dr didnt want me to birth at the centre and almost wouldn't agree, it was extremely stressful for the last couple of months of my pregnancy to see what I'd wanted for my birthing experience be totally shattered because I wasn't allowed to birth where I was most comfortable, might not be allowed even at the next closest place, and not knowing if I was going to end up doing the whole thing alone because it seems to me red tape ties the hands of the people who want to help.

The anxiety of not even knowing what I was going to be allowed to do made me feel like nobody cared about how the birth went, just that I made it as least stressful for the medical staff involved as possible.

The dr didn't want me to birth at the centre simply because I'm a first time mother, and then told me they wouldn't attend even in an emergency or induce me if I went overdue because of a minor biopsy procedure that may or may not cause a problem (which it didn't and they didnt even check to see how much was taken to know) leaving me feeling like they were more worried about their reputation than they cared about me as a patient.

The fact that a big fancy new hospital doesn't have any on call theatre staff is ludicrous, in my opinion, what's the point? And to only have one geriatric OB in the whole area, who can refuse to put their name to anyone that might have something go wrong, and force them to birth where they don't want to be, or sign a waiver saying they understand the risks and want to do it anyway, I feel how unfair. As I understand it, hire more staff and pay them to run the services we're entitled to! I have 3 hospitals in my area and I feel not one of them wants anything but the lowest of low risk mothers, as long as they aren't first timers and comply with all their paperwork and timing.

Less than 24 hrs of going over my due date I was given a referral for a growth ultrasound and told i need to sign up to be induced at 2 weeks overdue before I couldn't get in, because I'd have to go to the bigger hospital, which is the last thing I wanted. I delivered at 2 days "overdue" so the whole thing was stressful and a waste of time.

The reason I wanted a home birth to start with is because I can't stand the health system, and wanted nothing to do with the stress of the whole thing. I just wanted to have my baby in peace with as few interferences and complications as possible, but at the end it felt like I hadn't even avoided that. I actually wished I'd never told anyone I was having a baby so we would just be left alone.

It's not the midwives fault, they were lovely and tried to do the best they could for me under the rules it seems they have to follow. It would be nice if more choices were left up to them to decide instead of having to defer to someone else who does the exact same checks they do, except the midwives have much more experience and compassion for other women and what they're already going through with growing a human, but it seems the dr has all the power of a scribble on a piece of paper.

In my opinion, give us the services we pay for. Stop making women jump through hoops to be allowed to do what is perfectly natural and normal and give us the support to make that happen in the safest way possible, not just the most convenient.