"Negative birth experience"

2 and a half years ago I gave birth to my first baby and am still recovering from the trauma of several points of treatment at KEMH

Initially I was assigned to Midwife group 4 and had a lovely English lady as my midwife, she was amazing. 

Ultrasounds showed I was measuring big and at an appointment with a doctor I was told I could either be induced or have a c section.

The c-section seemed like an extreme option so opted to be induced. 

I was in hospital being induced for two days before it didn’t take and I had to be taken for an emergency c-section. 

I was lucky to have a room and for my husband to stay with me during the induction, however around lunch time the following day my husband had left to go and get some food. Another midwife came in and said they had to do a cervical check. 

It was so intensely painful I thought I was going to pass out. It was just me and this midwife in the room. They said they couldn’t find my cervix. They were being quite rough. 

I got up off the bed and said I couldn’t do that any longer, I walked the other side of the room needing a minute to collect myself. I was in shock. I wasn’t expecting that level of pain. I was shaking and trying to hold back tears telling them I just needed a minute. I felt this midwife was visibly annoyed and I was trying to be polite.

Mind you I felt they had boney hands and nails on the longer side. They left the room and I called my husband to come back immediately. 

The midwife came back and said they still had to do the check and offered me the gas. Which I took and again the pain was so intense I had ringing in my ears and felt like I was blacking out. The gas just made me high and in pain. 

This midwife seemingly really digged around in there and I felt their thumb pressing down hard on the outside of my vagina as well. 

They ended up needing to get a second  midwife to come and do a check who also struggled to find my cervix. The second midwife was my mgp4 English lady and even though I was in pain was more trusting of her. Eventually they said my cervix was facing backwards 

This was now 3 long painful cervical checks. 

I could not and I have still not shaken the feeling that this other midwife waited until I was alone to do the examination. Their exams remain the most traumatising part of my experience. 

I then asked for an early epidural before any more cervical exams. Which I believe there was 2 or 3 after that. 

Anyways the induction didn’t take I was having steady strong contractions but my cervix didn’t  get past 4cm so I was sent into emergency c section. 

I was close to passing out several times on the operating bed and was dry heaving during surgery. I lost 900ml of blood, after the operation I was wheeled into the next room and I felt another midwife basically forced my babies mouth open and onto my nipple. I was so out of it I just ended up crying and asking them to take the baby off me for a moment. Another annoyed midwife I believe. I was barely awake. 

This is my second but lesser point of trauma. 

I was in hospital for 3 days post birth and was having tachycardia, flushes, nausea etc. I had infection markers in my blood but they were holding off on giving me antibiotics because I didn’t have the associated fever. Mind you, I was on various pain killers. 

Finally with all of my unexplained symptoms they put me on antibiotics day 2 and within 24 hours I was feeling a world of better. 

No one told me during the several cervical exams that the more they did ( I also have a foley balloon and my waters broken with the glove) that it put me at higher risk of infection. 

I gave birth around 9pm via c section and my husband was allowed to stay with me until around midnight. Past visiting hours which I was grateful for. However that night the baby was crying and I was told to get a midwife to bring the baby to me. I pressed the button but no one came, after 7-10 or so minutes of my baby screaming I got up out of the bed to go and get my baby. 

I had bled over the floor as didn’t have any pads etc on still so soon after surgery. The midwife scolded me but I felt so helpless not being able to get to my baby and no one coming to assist me in  what I felt was a reasonable time.

Throughout my stay and during the birth I understand there were staffing issues and roster issues going on. I think my induction took longer because of some staffing pressures. 

My midwife at the end of my stay came to me and said if I had any concerns or wanted to lodge a complaint that I could directly to the hospital I thought their comment was strange and they seemed overall concerned about my experience. 

It wasn’t until weeks maybe months later as I was processing the birth and realised I was experiencing flashbacks of these moments of time. I now consider my experience with this other midwife obstetric violence. 

As this was my first birth and I was so trusting of the process I didn’t know what would be considered bad treatment. 

I have since had a second baby with a planned c section at another hospital and it was a fantastic experience. I’m still experiencing flashbacks/ PTSD from my first birth at KEMH.