"Traumatic birth and personal safety"

I went in for my planned c-sec at KHC recently, I was informed throughout my pregnancy that because I was high risk my surgery was going to be done by the specialist/most senior. My previous c sec, I had extensive adhesions & scar tissue, my uterus had adhered to my bladder which caused complications after birth, I bleed during surgery and post surgery. 

With this history and being diagnosed with Polyhydramnios with this pregnancy I was seen by my OB, midwives more often to be monitored, scanned and ultrasound.

When I got to theatre straight of the bat things seemed disorganised, I saw nurses were coming in & out like they were stressed not knowing/unsure, I asked where the specialist was that was supposed to do my surgery everyone shrugged their shoulders, they lost my blood sample I took the day before so surgery was delayed coz they had to draw another sample & have it rushed.

The surgeon introduced themselves but I was left confused to who they were was and why things had changed, the plan we had was c sec & only if there was no complications or bleeds/adhesions they would take my tubes, but only if it was safe, we didn’t want to risk my life for just my tubes.

As expected there was extensive adhesions and scar tissue, I had a massive bleed which required two blood transfusions, my baby came out unresponsive because when they broke my water they got sucked into my birth cannel due to the Polyhydramnios they couldn’t get my baby out (they ended up with bruising over their face because of forceps) they required oxygen and staff had to massage my baby's chest before they took a breathe.

They had trouble putting my uterus back in which resulted in them having to cut me almost hip to hip. I started feeling pain because they had taken so long and the spinal block was wearing off to they knocked me out. I was scared because I was left without any explanation that’s what scared me the most not knowing, after all those complications they still proceeded with taking out my tubes and, as I understand it, risking my life further. Why I will never understand.

I woke up in recovery, I can’t remember once them checking under my sheet to see if I was bleeding just did their standard obs, I was sent off to the ward and not long after I was surrounded by Drs nurses and midwives. I can’t remember much but extreme pain, them giving me internals and pushing on my now black and blue stomach from my ribs right down to my incision, the pain was excruciating like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I don’t know if I passed out or was in flight mode but I woke up in the HDU where I felt I was in and out of consciousness.

Upon one of the times I came too a patient was standing peering in just standing there staring at me, at first I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming but soon they moved and tried to say something. I frantically tried looking for my call button for what seemed like forever where they just continued to creepily steer at me like in a trace at this point I was absolutely terrified.

I started yelling out for help, calling out to no response, I kept calling and finally got a response to I can’t come right now I’m busy with a patient, to which now I was even more scared and frantic that no one was coming to help me. I felt unsafe and so vulnerable, I couldn’t move I had no call button coz they apparently “oops” forgot to get me one so I was left alone in the dark with this creepy person.

I started screaming directly at the other patient to get out leave me alone to which they left only to come back around a few minutes later coz no one still hadn’t come to help me. I was now hysterically crying to which the nurse responded, I asked for the other patient to be removed to their response being we can’t do that we have protocols, I asked to call security or the head of department to nothing was done. I felt I was dismissed like I was some crazy lady. The nurse went to leave which I begged them to stay to the point I grabbed onto their hand shaking begging them not to leave me because the other patient was still there just behind my curtain.  I didn’t let go of their hand I held it tight hoping they didn’t leave me. I felt so unsafe.

The other patient then started calling my name multiple times to where I now felt the nurse realised I wasn’t crazy, that other patient had been in my room, the nurse was now apologising and rubbing my hand and had the other patient taken out of the HDU. But that was it nothing else was done, no apology for not giving me a call button and leaving me so vulnerable, separating me from my baby for 3 days who I only got to see briefly, no support just in darkness alone, feeling I was losing myself.

I have been traumatised and deeply effected by this as I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and has triggered my PTSD which now I am suffering. My recovery has been horrific physically and emotionally. I am still suffering from complications of surgery, infected incision due to what I believe to be incompetence in stapling me almost hip to hip, it open raw and stinks. I have a suspected hernia which hurts.

The health nurse who came to visit our home (Jess) has been supportive and just given care which made me feel like a human again, made me feel valid and heard for the first time since I went into the hospital. The whole experience was traumatising, In my opinion, I was made feel less than human, seemingly slice and dice and they were done with me. I wasn’t told anything just released left feeling lost and confused.