"Care at maternity ward"

I gave birth a few months ago (FTM) and I must say the care I experienced was great for the most part (I’ll go into other details later).

Majority of the midwives that I saw were great, chatty and kind. I genuinely believe most of them were really want to support the birth that I wanted.

Unfortunately for me I needed a c-section due to a last minute flip from baby resulting in a breech position.

Upon my first visit with a specialist I expressed that I was feeling down about needing a c-section and that I was already at a higher risk for PND so I was worried about the bonding with any due to the hormonal difference in delivery. The specialist told me that they had three c-sections and loved their babies regardless and even when they came out they saw them and shooed them off afterward. I feel this personal experience wasn’t something that should have been shared as each patient needs to be heard and understood and I felt it wasn’t about their birth story at all. In this instance I felt my worries were completely dismissed due to the specialist’s own personal experience. I then discussed with them my change of birth plan because of the c-section. On my note regarding skin to skin straight away they told me I wouldn’t get it nor would I get delayed cord clamping or the lotus birth if requested. At no point did they explain why it was just a no.

I discussed this with a midwife (the best there, in my opinion) my next appointment what had happened and it seemed she was also outraged. She thankfully spoke with the midwife in charge on the day of the c-section about ensuring my wishes were adhered to (so long as medically ok to do so).

Upon the day of my c-section I was met with another wonderful midwife. She was great and supportive and ensured that my wishes for delivery were passed onto the midwife in theatre. She kept us updated on how long it would be until we were in theatre (which for a fasting heavily pregnant women is essential).

When we got down to theatre, we hadn’t had an ultrasound done (which was essential as if baby had miraculously flipped we were not going ahead with the surgery). The surgeon stopped all prep to look at baby’s position which I was ever so grateful for. The anaesthesiologist on the day was truly amazing. She listened to everything and kept in communication the whole time to ensure that the process was as comfortable as could be. The team lowered the curtain for bubs delivery (thank you team) and after a quick check on Bub the midwife put Bub on my chest for the remainder of the surgery (super important for me). The dr explained I wasn’t able to have a lotus birth as an artery had been nicked but I was glad that he explained that and gave that closure.

For the most part the midwives after were amazing with both mine and bub’s care. However on day one, night shift I had the worst experience with a staff member. I buzzed them as I needed baby bought over to me and swaddled. When they came in, they didn’t introduce themselves, I recall they just asked, what do I want. Upon my request, it seemed the staff member rolled their eyes and asked what day are you am I. I responded “day one” they told me that I should really be getting out of bed and swaddling baby myself. I had actually tried to get out of bed earlier however was unsuccessful and the midwife at that time told me to give it a little longer. The second time in the night I needed to reluctantly buzz I asked for pain relief and a cup of tea. Their response to me was that they’re busy tending to other rounds can I not wait. By this point I was extremely upset and called my spouse (as they aren’t allowed to stay on the ward). I didn’t end up getting much rest that night at all because I was too worried about buzzing that staff member for assistance.

The next morning the dr visited and I told them what had happened. I believe they instantly knew which staff member it was and said if I was comfortable reporting this person they could ask the coordinator to speak to me. I did request this, however, they never came to speak to me. This was disappointing as I not only wanted to discuss this staff member but commend the several midwives that I’d had throughout the journey who were exceptional.