"Unsuccessful vbac"

When I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 I was over the moon, to know I was giving my son a younger sibling made me and my husband really excited.

My pregnancy was fabulous! I loved being pregnant, although I was anxious about making it to full term (I didn’t with my first) but once I did I relaxed a lot more and felt like I “glowed”. I have never been more pregnant after 32 weeks, let alone to make it to full term and all the way to 40 weeks was exciting and a whole new experience for me. I had decided before I was even pregnant that when the time comes I’ll be trying for a vbac.

Wanting a vbac meant for me that I had to go to Perth which is 700km away from home and I had to be there from 36weeks. This was a really long time for my two year old and I to be gone for, let alone not being with my husband. He did do the odd weekend trip but came to Perth at 39 weeks until baby #2 was ready to arrive.

When my due date came I was confident I’ll be going into labour any minute but by the time 6pm came around I wasn’t too sure. I went to bed, expressed some colostrum and sure enough started getting some cramping. I didn’t say anything to my husband as I wasn’t sure. Once it got to 8pm I had told him how I was feeling and we both made the effort to try and get some rest before things ramp up. At 11pm I’ve woken my husband up to call the midwives and let them know my contractions were getting stronger. I could still breathe through them but I was worried as we were 35 minutes away from the hospital so I didn’t want to far away in case things changed quickly.

Once we had arrived I was told I was only 2cm dialated but they didn’t want me to leave given my birth history and because I was aiming for a vbac. My husband ended up leaving around 2am and I ended up getting something for the pain, more so to help me sleep. I remember waking up and being told I was 6cm. I had rung my husband to come back as I was being moved to a birthing suite and before I knew it he was there.

With each contraction I kept remembering to relax my face and breath through it. My amazing midwives respected my birthing plan I had, some accepts weren’t able to happen due to my history and hospital policy but none the less they did as much as they could.

As each contraction came I was focused and was imagining the baby coming down. I was breathing the baby out and as time went on and they got stronger I was grunting the baby out. I made the most of the shower, different standing positions, the bed, an exercise ball, the peanut ball. I did everything I could possibly do to be comfortable but the only thing that seems to have worked the most was the tens machine!

Earlier in the morning my midwife was concerned with my heart rate being so high, I had to have a few ECGs done and even had a few different doctors come in to talk to me about it, even with all this going on I was focused. None of this changed what my end goal was, a vbac.

Once my water had broken, it was brown meaning there was macconium in it. My midwives weren’t too concerned as I was getting close to meeting my baby. I remember having this urge of needing to do a poo and this was when things started to ramp up. It was roughly 3.30pm at this stage and my midwives really wanted me to push and the obs were getting concerned. I had one doctor come and chat to me about my options. I was told clinically the baby and I are okay but he knew I was tired, he gave me an hour to see if things would change otherwise we could start thinking of a c section. At this point I was shattered. I had been away from home for 4 weeks for a vbac. I gave everything I could with each push. The midwives helped me and couched me with every one but I couldn’t progress after an hour of trying. I remember looking at my husband feeling defeated and agreeing to the c section but once I had done that I felt a huge weight of my shouldered. It’s like my body had thanked me. Once I was in the OR everything was so different to my first (emergency c section). This time the doctors were all relaxed, laughing, keeping me well informed, I got to choose what music to listen too. I got to see my son straight away, do skin to skin - none of what I had experienced last time. Our healthy boy was born via c section at 40+1.

I don’t regret anything from my laboring experience and wouldn’t change a thing. I labored like a boss! And am extremely proud of my body and the mindset I had. Regardless of the vbac being unsuccessful the day was still as magical and as beautiful as I had hoped for.