"Treatment by child health nurse"

Nearly a year ago, when our baby was only a few weeks old, I talked to a child health nurse late in the week & told them I was having lots of issues breastfeeding.

The nurse booked an appointment to come early the next week and told me to try only feed off one breast at a time over 6 hours intervals over the weekend – feeding on one and then swapping to the other. I am a first-time mum but that went against what everyone was telling me. I did it but that first day my breast was sore and engorged. I felt something was not right. I spoke to a lactation consultant through Breastfeeding Australia who told me that was all wrong and told me how to drain the breast to stop mastitis.

I was worried as the nurse gave me what was apparently totally wrong advice over the phone without meeting me or without referring me to a lactation consultant.

Then the nurse came over to our house on the scheduled day. My partner was home for lunch. The nurse started going into our family history, collecting data. My partner has a family history of type 2 diabetes and my partner is borderline so we know this is something we need to be aware of.

This nurse started lecturing my partner on their diet and weight and health. I felt they were talking to me like I know nothing even though they knew I was a registered nurse as I’d told them this.

My baby had a gunky eye and I had been doing eyewashes and putting breast milk in bub’s eye. I have been to uni. I know how to do an eyewash. The way this nurse talked to us, in my opinion, it’s like you’re uneducated and have had no life experience.

This nurse was then checking about postnatal depression and asked if I’d been teary and upset. I’d had a couple of days when I’ve been crying and quite tearful. The nurse said that’s normal about 5 days after birth but not by now and they would definitely need to screen me at 8 weeks. So, I’m not allowed to cry? My baby was only a few weeks old.

My bub was supposed to put on 100-200g of weight a week but they had only put on 90g. I thought that at least bub was putting on weight and not losing weight. My baby came out smaller than they should have been as there were complications after birth. Bub was 9 days overdue but came out the weight of a prem baby.

The nurse said they would come back later in the week at a certain time to weigh my baby. It was tough getting ready for that appointment as they were grumpy and needing a nap. A few minutes before the appointment I was changing bub’s nappy when the phone rang. I missed call but it was from an unknown number and no message left so I couldn’t call back.

10 minutes after the appointment time they still weren’t there so I phoned the place and spoke to the receptionist who put me through to the nurse who said they weren’t coming for another 20 minutes. They ended up coming immediately but again I felt they were really rude.

I felt this nurse didn’t have common sense or compassion and was textbook, very rude. I was really upset so I confronted them and said you were confronting and condescending to my partner about diabetes and rude to them. I told this nurse they were talking to me like it’s my fault that my baby is not gaining weight. I was very professional. Then the nurse said they were sorry and asked if I wanted to see someone else. I said I’d think about it and later phoned the receptionist and asked not to see this nurse again.

Then recently, I had to go in for an appointment for immunisations. I thought I’d have a different child nurse who I’d been seeing since then but it was the original nurse who came and said the other nurse was away.

My baby has been on solids for ages but the nurse said bub should be eating what partner and I are eating as a family. But we eat the sort of food bub can’t eat yet. They’ve only got front teeth and it’s hard for them. Bub is having 3 meals a day and gets fruit, crackers and veggies and will munch on them.

Then I was told I’m breastfeeding too much (after sleep/naps and a little while before bed). Sometimes they want it and sometimes they don’t. Just before going down for the night, they have a full bottle of formula. The nurse said I should be offering bub food before breastmilk and not giving milk through a bottle but a sipper cup even though bub drinks water during the day with a sipper cup.

Sure some of the advice is good but I feel it is all textbook and some things apply to different situations.

Then I had to do the questionnaire for postnatal depression or anxiety. The nurse started asking more questions but I said I was only discussing that part with my GP. The nurse said that was ok and told me my questionnaire score but not what it meant. Now I don’t know if I am at risk or not.

Every time I have had to go there I feel so anxious the day before and in the morning getting ready to go. When I get there, I just want to get in there, get bub weighed and get out of there and not talk to them. So now I am shut down to all those nurses at that office. I just don’t know what to do next.