"Rehab at Logan House"

Too many rock bottoms, blackouts, discussions and behaviours I could not recall; bruises but no memory of how or what I had done to cause them; damage to personal relationships with friends and family; poor decision making; bad and unhealthy choices of relationships; setting a horrible example for my children; tired of feeling like a joke and being the one that was always tagged in any fb meme that featured drinking; declining health and diagnosis of liver fibrosis. It took a long time. The threat of losing the love and respect of my children, the very real possibility that I would not live long enough to see them grow up and a violent end to a toxic relationship finally made me realise that, despite my denial and efforts to hide or acknowledge my behaviours, I had indeed become dependent on alcohol. I was an alcoholic.

I was referred and accepted into the short term residential drug and alcohol rehabilitation program at Logan House. It was a decision that involved me giving up my rental house, moving all our possessions into storage and relinquishing care of my two children to my estranged ex-spouse. It was the most difficult and stressful decision I have ever had to make but I knew in my heart that I would not be able to stop drinking and change my future behaviour without ongoing assistance and physical removal from temptations. 

I have learnt so much during my time at Logan House. Hearing the stories of those that I shared a community with, and from the treatment facilitators themselves, was humbling and invaluable. It helped put my own problems and issues into perspective and educated me in a way no book ever could. 

I attended group meetings where I learned the importance of self care and self love, the power of practising mindfulness, meditation and positive thinking, the harmful short and long term effects of drug and alcohol usage and the side effects and symptoms of withdrawal and overdosing. I also had one-on-one counselling with my fabulous treatment facilitator Branka. Branka gave me invaluable support and encouragement through her wealth of knowledge and experience, and helped me understand the importance, and eventual achievement of self love and self care which are such important skills in order to maintain a sober and balanced lifestyle. I have finally regained my self respect, value myself and what I have to contribute to future relationships and the world in general and am confident that I can be the parent I used to, and wanted to be again. I am enough.

Logan House, its amazing staff and its supportive community has helped me find myself again. I have grown in confidence and self-esteem and have found a balance in life that I had previously found unattainable. I exercise daily and actively practise mindfulness and meditation to help maintain a positive mindset. I have healthy boundaries in place and a new interest in exploring my understanding of spirituality.

I understand that I will be an alcoholic for life. One drink will always be one drink too many for me. And despite my previous misconceptions I now realise that not drinking does not make me Un-Australian or anti-social. It in fact empowers me, fosters healthy choices and enables me to set a positive example and be the best role model I can be for my children. 

I am extremely thankful and grateful for the opportunity I have had and the time I have spent doing rehabilitation at Logan House. It was not always an easy journey. I hated having to be away from my children and I did not always grasp or immediately understand the concepts that I was being taught. But based on my experience, you will get out of this program what you put into it. It provides you with the tools and support in a safe environment that will enable you to achieve your goal to lead a happy, healthy, fulfilling sober life for the rest of your future. I leave here confident and happy in the knowledge that I now know what I have to do personally, as well as contacts I can reach out to for support in times of trouble and in the face of temptation or need, to keep an on-going focus on maintaining sobriety for the rest of my life.