"Birth experience"

My spouse and I had our second baby recently. We had just recovered from covid when we had to go into hospital. We were no longer unwell or in isolation.

My spouse was not allowed into the birth. I had to have a caesarean due to our baby being breech even though I went into labour naturally.

Not being allowed to have my spouse in the birth was so tough emotionally. I felt like so much was stolen from us with not being able to share that moment together of meeting our second child and bonding. We also hadn't found out the gender of our baby, it was so sad to find out on my own. My spouse was in my hospital room for three hours on their own while I went to surgery.

The whole thing was gut reaching, cruel, inhuman and heart breaking.

The staff were amazing and tried their best to make me feel better in such a terrible situation.

My spouse was only allowed to stay for 4 hours after the birth. They then had to leave and was not allowed to return to visit me or bring our toddler in to meet their baby sibling and see me. This was also so tough to deal with. It was difficult to bond with our new baby when we had these unreasonable time limits on us and for my spouse not allowed to visit also impacted their bonding with our baby in a negative way. I still become emotional and cry when I think of all of this. I feel devastated for myself and for my spouse with what they went through.

The following day after I had just had major abdominal surgery the hospital discharged me home. In my opinion, this was beyond tough, brutal, inconsiderate and it felt like we were not given the care we should have been given.

I had a home visiting midwife visit or myself and baby. I found the visits were so rushed as they were only allowed to stay for 15 minutes. This made me feel stressed, and not cared for even though I know the midwife did care, I didn't feel cared for well. I believe 15 minutes is not enough time at all for what I felt I needed, especially after being discharged the following day after major surgery.

When I was discharged I was given scripts for pain medications which meant on the way home we had to stop at a chemist to get the scripts filled at our own expense and inconvenience. At the very least if the hospital is going to discharge women 24 hours after major surgery, the hospital should be giving the medication to these patients at the hospital's expense. I feel it's inconsiderate and also ridiculous to think this is providing women with a high level of care.

Everything we have been through still breaks my heart and I feel like we've had so much stolen from us. I'm still not okay emotionally and feel so sad about the birth of or second child.