"Hospice doctor"

I am the sibling referenced in the earlier complaint. I want to add my voice to this and confirm that this story is accurate. In fact, I would say that my sibling has very much downplayed how upsetting this meeting with the doctor was. I was extremely shocked by what I felt to be the rude, arrogant and condescending behaviour they exhibited towards us, the more so given that we were in the hospice, which I think most people understand is an extremely sensitive environment, deserving of extra respect and quiet consideration.

My parent is extremely ill, vulnerable, and often confused because of the level of pain management drugs, however, I believe there is absolutely no dementia and this patient is absolutely able to understand what is going on, discuss current affairs, and keep up with all the doings of a wide-spread family of 3 generations. I was absolutely incensed by the doctor’s assertion that my parent had dementia and felt that it showed they had no grasp on my parent's overall medical needs.

The doctor told us that as long as [X] was on their watch, they would keep telling [X] every day that [X] had aggressive cancer and was dying. To quote: “[X] will keep hearing it every day from me”.

We asked that they not convey this information unless specifically asked by the patient for a prognosis. This was the point at which they doctor claimed there was dementia and therefore the patient lacked the capacity to know whether they wanted this information or not. 

We are very clear as a family that our parent needs support to cope with the end of life situation, and is easily distressed by the thought of dying. We believe that we are the best placed to gently mediate this news, as our parent comes gradually to acceptance. The arrogance and rudeness of this doctor was quite shocking.