"Care in the worst possible moments"

My beautiful brother fell down the stairs at home - nothing he hasn't done before but this time it was different. I picked up my mum and we went to ED expecting him to be 'stitched up' and we could bring him home. But not this time - he had such a catastrophic brain injury that we were talking transfer to Melbourne, surgery and life changing disabilities.

Within the next hour decisions were being made about life and death. As someone who has advocated for Advance Care Planning for over 20 years now I was living my families worst nightmare - a healthy 55 year old man who could no longer speak for himself, and we were making decisions about whether to treat or not based on an outcome which for him he would never want.

Luckily we knew what to do but more importantly I felt we were supported by some of the kindest, most wonderful medical and nursing staff I have ever met. This extended to neuo surgeons at the Royal Melbourne hospital who listened to us and helped make the decision we all knew was the right one. But most importantly they took some of the burden of this decision away from mum and I - I can never thank-you enough for that and I hope you know just how important that is for a mother when she is told her child is going to die.

I unfortunately can't remember your names but I hope you remember my brother and know how special you all are. Once the decision was made to keep Pete in Bendigo and let him die peacefully mum and I sat with him - there was nothing more anyone could do. I remember watching the staff sit just behind us monitoring his life support as we then navigated organ donation and what to do next. I remember seeing their sad faces and the silence as no-one knew what else to say. But their small smiles, their constant reassurance and just knowing they were there was enough. I will never forget all of the ED staff that night - I know our jobs are just too hard some shifts. 

Then we went to ICU. These were my colleagues and I felt their care and support was beyond what is in your job descriptions. Such a tough few hours and I want to thank-you all for every minute we had with my beautiful brother - and hey I must also say I am sorry as I am not the easiest family member to deal with :) But no death under these circumstances was going to be easy - but you all made it as easy as it could be and he went when he wanted to. 

I just wanted to say thank-you to every staff member who had input into Pete's care. I really hope the Bendigo Health Executives and the ED and ICU Directors pass on my family's gratitude and sincere appreciation for what you do. I feel you are all such special people and maybe we don't always get it right in health but in this story you got it so right. I don't know how else to say what an impact your care has had on such a huge event in my families lives but thank-you - I will remember you all for what you did.